What would lead one to believe that rednecks can be found below the equator–and even more specifically among the monkey population? We now have concrete evidence proving is it true! Rednecks not only exists below the equator, but in the monkey population.
Are there redneck monkeys? Start off with geography. Monkeys are found below the equator and that would meet the definition of “the south (although any southerner will argue that there are true rednecks to be found above the Mason-Dixon line as well as below!).
Then more specifically there is Lucas the squirrel monkey. Lucas has been a troublemaker from the day we arrived at our home-away-from-home lodge in the jungles of Ecuador. While the five different types of monkeys found swinging through the trees here provide considerable entertainment, Lucas is a one-of-a-kind. We have watched him swing from the rafters of the restaurant we dine in, land on our table, grab a piece of our breakfast bread and disappear in a frantic streak of monkey tail. This might be considered akin to moonshine running by any authority on rednecks.
Tattoos always seem to be a part of the redneck stereotype and Lucas fulfilled that part this past year. Our friend Sam was enjoying a late afternoon–sitting on the deck of the lodge, innocently drinking one of Ecuadors national beers: the big-ounce Pilsener beer. If forced to tell the truth, he might also have been enjoying the advances of one of the spider monkeys who was playing coy with him. It is hard to tell if it was jealousy over the spider monkey, or envy for the beer Sam was drinking, but before things were over a bar fight of sorts ensued and our friend Sam ended up with what looked suspiciously like Lucas teeth marks on his leg. Being bitten by any redneck would be cause for concern; Lucas was no exception. Sam did not die of rabies. But he did end up with a tattoo of Lucas on his calf to commemorate the lucky day. That is redneck for sure!!
This last week was the redneck feat of all for Lucas. Bored without any tourists to taunt early last week, Lucas resorted to the puerca de la Montana (mountain pig!)
The puerca de la Montana spends its days wallowing in the mud when not rooting around for food like any good pig. The puerca de la Montana was close to the fence when Lucas and his buddies swung through the trees above him. Lucas looked at the puerca and then at his friends and with that famous redneck line Hey bubba monkeys, watch this! Lucas landed next to the pig and boldly yanked out a monkey handful of hairjust like he told his monkey friends he could. And while Lucas will not win a Darwin Award (he is still alive), he will be walking with quite a gimp for the upcoming future as a result of the bite he received from the pig on his leg as he tried to run away after his intelligent redneck feat.
Conclusion: there are rednecks below the equator also!